The Great Untethering: Why ‘A Grown Up’s Gap Year The Podcast’ Isn’t Just Fluff #14

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Hello, hello and Happy Sunday,

This week on A Grown Up’s Gap Year – The Podcast, we talked about Mental Load.

If you’ve ever felt like the default setting at home, you’ll know exactly what I mean. It’s not a moan – just stating the facts, including a great quote from Mary Delahunty, CEO of Superannuation Australia, and yes, a word for our Dear Blokes too – excerpted from my new book (draft).

All conversations worth having.

As I said in this week’s podcast – no hubris here – I don’t have the answers. I’m only saying what clever women before me have said forever: please, for the love of everything, let’s start placing true value on unpaid care and domestic labour.

For our kidults taking their first tentative steps into adulthood and looking for long-term relationship parity and success, let’s keep the topic on the table, as it STILL keeps sliding off.

And while we’re here, a quick spotlight on a brilliant Australian business: Nanny Granny. Founder Paige designed a solution to a problem she faced – providing better child (and aged) care options for families. And in doing so, she’s also created meaningful, flexible work for older women. Fingers crossed we can record a podcast episode soon, because I know you’ll love Paige. In her words:

“Regardless of whether you’re living alone, living with others, caring for young children, caring for ageing parents, or something in between, at some point you’ll need a bit of help.”

Next week, we’re back with a solo travel episode – because ME time factors high in our chats about feeling better.

And on that note, my top tip for solo female travel is still Japan – you might like this:
3 of My Favourite Japan Travel Guides for Solo Female Travellers

Until next Sunday…

Love & hugs,
Monique x not about changing your whole life. It’s about changing your angle.

A Love Letter From Us…

DEAR BLOKES: How To Avoid An Expensive Divorce.

…a love letter, from us.

A Premise of Sorts

Definition: Partnering with Purpose
• Noun: Showing up fully in life and love, for the people who matter (and yourself).
• Verb: To share the load, not just ‘help out’.

Upfront.
This is not an attack, an affront, or a thinly veiled passive-aggressive “you’re not doing good.”
You might be.
You also might not be.

But by the time you finish the last page – you will be.

If you choose to.

That’s going to be the key.
If YOU choose.

Because one life. Yours.
Ideally? You decide to partner with purpose.*

*Margin Note: We will be using this phrase often – our mantra if you like.

Might Also Have Titled This Book

‘The List You Always Wanted’ (no more ‘just tell me what to do’)

‘Me in We’ (a reminder, you don’t disappear inside your family – you lead in it. Together)

‘Legacy in Action’ (it’s not just about what you leave behind. It’s about how you show up while you are here)

Our Aim Together?

Working Title For Your Epitaph. ‘‘One of the Good Ones. Lived Fully. Loved well. Shared the Load”.

That’s the goal.

Why This Matters to You
The bleeding obvious: this matters to your partner.
Chances are, it’s landed in your lap, beside table, holiday deckchair – with instructions;

“Read this, please.”

You might’ve been bold enough to ask “Why?”

“Because I want you to.”
“Because WE need you to.”

Nuff said.

Also… bloody good title, wouldn’t you say?

I trialled it on my bloke first. His ears pricked up, his eyes lit up, he thought for a moment, and said:
“I might read that.”

And THAT, my new friend, told me everything I needed to know.

He hasn’t read my first book. His eyes glaze over when I get all “let me read a chapter to you.”
Mostly, his focus when I speak? Let’s say ‘less than zero’ springs to mind.

But this time?
He could feel there might be something in it for him.
There is. For you, too.

You just need a bit of context. A little backwards before we go forward.
Because, as we’ve established, this is about YOU. Truly. No tricks. No subterfuge.
We want a version of you that feels great and does great for yourself, for your partner, your offspring (sweeping assumption)*, and yes, the world you inhabit.

*Margin Note: I am a wife and mum, so I write through this lens. Always at pains to say – I leave enough room for you to insert your circumstances

Righto, let’s start here.

to be continued…

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WATCH

And speaking of conversations worth having… I spent some time on The Morning Show (Channel Seven) this week. As ever — glorious hosts, kind and generous with their questions.

Just as I thought, “Oh, everyone’s heard this all before, blah blah,” there was a flurry of comments. Mostly positive:
“Oh yes, this is a wonderful plan — make space in life for you, while still caring for those you love.”

Then came the disgruntled blokes: “We have it tougher than you ‘ladys’.” And still more from women who are so unhappy they can’t see a way out — for whom lashing out feels like the only option.

And honestly? I get it. When it all seems hopeless and someone appears saying, “I may have reached the depths, but now I feel better,” it can be jarring. Triggering. Which is exactly why I try to really listen. Because none of this gets better for us — as a broader community — unless those of us with a bit of energy step up and out.

A Grown Up’s Gap Year Segment – The Morning Show Channel 7

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COMING NEXT WEEK

Why I’m a Fan of Best-Practice Wellness Retreats (And where I go when I need to properly disappear…)

A few ideas to get you dreaming→