Dear Blokes #2

DEAR BLOKES,

If this note has appeared on our fridge, here’s the short version from me (and, if we’re honest, a lot of women like me).

I’m tired. Not just “need a nap” tired – default setting for everything tired. For years I’ve been quietly running the household as CEO of logistics, emotions, meals and missing items, while also trying to be a decent human to everyone I love.

This week’s podcast episode talks about the mental load, guilt, and why I’m starting to build a simple “fence” around my time and energy so I don’t burn out. This isn’t me picking a fight. It’s me trying to keep myself – and us – going for the long haul.

Think of this less as a complaint and more as an updated owner’s manual.

This note is your quick-start guide.

THREE THINGS THAT HELP (A LOT)

1. Believe me the first time.
If I say “I’m exhausted” or “I need a break,” please resist the urge to say “You’re amazing” and then carry on as usual.

Try:

“Okay. Where can I step in?”

Then actually do it. Repeatedly. No medals required.

2. Own one regular job, end-to-end.
Pick one thing and run it without reminders – start to finish, every time.

It could be:

• all the washing
  
• all the Sunday dinners
  
• all the birthday cards
  

The key bit: I don’t have to think about it. That mental space is worth more than you realise.

3. Ask a better question.
Instead of “What do you need me to do?” (which is still more work for me), try:

“If you had a week completely to yourself, what would you do?”

Then really listen. No jokes, no eye-rolling, no “must be nice.” My answer will tell you a lot about what I’ve been missing.

WHY THIS MATTERS (FOR BOTH OF US)

Mid-life isn’t just bills and bin night. It’s the point where a lot of people quietly think,

“Is this it?”

I see how much you do too – at work, at home, in your own head. This isn’t about pretending you don’t pull your weight. It’s about the way the rest of the load has quietly landed with me, and the fact that I can’t keep running on empty.

Sharing the load – properly, not just in theory – gives both of us a better shot at an amazing next act together: more health, more fun, more actual time enjoying what we’ve built.

If I’m working on holding a better fence around my time and energy, your job is simple:

Notice when I’m saying yes out of habit – and back my boundary, help me ditch the guilt.

Let’s call this ‘ Partnering with Purpose’!

LOVE US xx