A Grown Up’s Gap Year – The Newsletter #19

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HELLO, HAPPY SUNDAY!

This week, we talk solo travel – practical, yes, brave, and deeply restorative. What it takes to go, how to make it work around real life, and why it’s not selfish to put yourself in the centre of your days (for a bit).

The Solo Travel podcast episode was actually going to come later in the season – because I go pretty hard on not needing to leave home to feel better. (as evidenced a few weeks ago with our episode about micro-novelty and joy within your postcode.)

Except… the flurry of messages I’ve received since? All circling the same thing:

“HOW do I actually get away? Like really – leave my cares behind, even for a moment?”

So that’s what we’re focusing on for the next few weeks. Different versions of getting away. because space, perspective, and pause… these things ALL work.

Why not now? Why not you?

Over the decades I’ve seen solo travel as a reset – back to who we were before we became the person who knew where everything lived in the kitchen.

Just to be clear: this episode isn’t about running away. We’ve covered that.

“This is about what happens when you take time out – away from your usual habitat. When you wander, with little on the agenda, except one thing: to hear yourself think again. Flaneusing (oh how I love that word) – ambling just for the pure pleasure of putting one foot in front of the other, taking in your surroundings with no particular destination in mind.”

And if you are craving some freedom – you’re not alone. This is a movement.

“A study by travel website JourneyWoman found that 67% of women over 50 identify as solo travellers. The trend is fuelled by a desire for self-discovery, (yes) freedom, and unique experiences – with women from all walks of life choosing to explore the world on their own terms.”

Time to be, YOU.

As ever, just hit reply if you have any questions.

I love to hear from you.

Have a super week.

Love & hugs

Monique x

PS make sure you join us next week on the podcast – as I interview a wonderful reader (and contributor to A Grown Up’s Gap Year) on her solo Camino pilgrimage adventure!

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“SO Monique, WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO PLAN THIS AWAY TIME?”

— Kathy, Perth WA.

Oh Kathy, sadly my answer runs the gamit of, Probably never.

You will always feel needed – at home, at work.

So just pick a date and block it out.

Now, as ever, darling younger listeners with kidlets – you’re going to be constrained. No getting around this. But. There are ways.

Even just a staycation. Don’t give away the location.

Enlist a girlfriend to step in as your “default” emergency contact (then you reciprocate for her) – a “second Mumma” just a phone call away – a trusted family friend the kids know and feel comfortable calling. Only she knows where you are. If you see a call from her, you’ll answer. Otherwise? Nup. Uncontactable. From a place of hindsight – I would do this partnered or not.

I’m not projecting incompetence onto anyone – but, the times I left the bloke solely in charge? Counterproductive. I might’ve been a timezone away and still got the phone calls – putting out fires from thousands of kilometres away.

I learned quickly – and was fortunate to entice Mum for a ‘stay over’ with her Grandsons. When Grandma was ensconced? Crickets.

Hope that sparks some plans for you.

Bon voyage. And do send me a postcard X

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(READ · LISTEN · DO)

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A quick word for the blokes who’ve had this episode gently forwarded their way.

First things first: if your partner announces a solo trip, you’ve done something right.

Hear me out.

This isn’t abandonment.
It’s not a commentary on your relationship (although it might also be…but that is between the two of you).

For this episode’s purposes, it’s proof that your partner trusts the strength and maturity of what you’ve built together. She knows your partnership thrives best when you both have room to breathe – when you recharge separately as well as together.

And here’s the thing – it’s a good one:
This space isn’t just hers. It’s yours too.

My husband, soon after I departed, realised his signature dish (read only one in his repertoire), Tuna Pasta, on high rotation was wearing thin, and created “Mike’s Bites” Sunday meals with our adult sons.

No ‘Mum on Deck’ orchestrating or refereeing, or casting judgy eyes over the veggie presentation. Just a dad and his boys, and their mates – bonding and bantering.

I was absent.
And finally, he was fully present.

Everyone felt better.

So here’s your invitation:

When your partner returns refreshed, re-inspired, and maybe even sun-kissed – imagine having stories of your own. Experiences you created independently – which spark fresh conversation, laughter, and growth.

This isn’t passive waiting.
This is a relationship refresh.

And your recognition of this state?

This is partnering with purpose.

For that, we say thank you, until we chat again next week.

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A GROWN UP’S GAP YEAR – WHAT’S GOING ON?

– The Club is open — our Facebook space for women reclaiming adventure, agency, and everyday awe. Join here: 

– Bookshop update — You can now find A Grown Up’s Gap Year in more selected stores nationally, or always online.