A Grown Up’s Gap Year – The Newsletter #17

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HELLO, HAPPY SUNDAY,

There’s a reason we get stuck in wishing-and-hoping land.
Not because we’re lazy – because we’re spinning without a compass.

This week’s podcast episode sets one.

By the end, you’ll have 3–6 core values that act as your personal litmus test – for every yes, every no, every “maybe later.”

Values as a North Star, so you can steer – not spiral.
It’s back-to-basics, beautifully practical. We walk through a quick Values Lab: a word-dump, a pattern-spot, a ruthless cut. Then we turn each value into something you’ll actually use.

Authenticity, connection, curiosity, freedom, optimism, wellbeing – those are mine. So now, when I’m making a life decision?
If it lines up: it’s a hell yes.
If it doesn’t? No thank you. Not right now – and possibly never.

Of course, values evolve. What matters most in one season may shift in another. So we’re not casting these in stone – we’re just sketching the map for right now.

One small shift that saves a lot of circling.

Just another way to make it easier to ask:
Why not now? Why not you?

Have a super week,

Love & hugs

Monique xx

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“Can living by my values mean there is a real risk I end up losing friends?” — Kate

Kate,

When you start filtering your decisions through your actual values, not the inherited ones, not the polite ones – a few things happen:

• You stop saying yes to things that drain you.
• You stop pretending you’re okay with stuff that isn’t.
• You get clearer.

The friends who value your well-being, your curiosity, your calm, your joy?

They’ll meet you there. Maybe even thank you for modelling it.

And the space that opens up when you stop stretching yourself thin? That’s where better friendships form. More honest. More mutual. More energising.

So is it good to do?

YES!

You can be kind and clear.

You can say no with love. You can exit without drama. You’re not burning bridges – you’re just choosing which ones you want to keep crossing

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(READ · LISTEN · DO)

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‘This memoir is so packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today… I highlighted something in EVERY chapter.’ 

Reese Witherspoon

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A GROWN UP’S GAP YEAR – THE CLUB

If you want accountability while you put this to work, our Facebook community is now LIVE!

A Grown Up’s Gap Year – THE CLUB.

Low key…kind…inclusive.

No grand plan, it’s simply a Space – where we (women) can share stories, plan escapes (big or small), and put ourselves back in the picture.

It can evolve with us, let’s see where it takes us.

Join IN — I’d love you to come and say hello.

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If your partner is talking “values,” she’s not staging a coup. She’s trying to stop being last on her own list. Two easy helps this week:

• Ask: “What’s one thing this week that will buy you back an hour?”
• Pick a date to talk partner values – an exercise to avoid the “I thought you wanted x, y, z for our second/third act” surprise. It might unearth shared gems – or at least an interesting conversation.

Thank you for tuning in. Until next week!